Talking to Your Children About Genetic Risk

Family cancer history and genetic risk are often kept quiet, but open, age-appropriate conversations with children are an important step toward proactive health awareness. Understanding potential inherited risks helps reduce fear created by secrecy and allows children and adolescents to feel informed rather than anxious. It also prepares them to make thoughtful health decisions in the future, such as when to consider screening or genetic testing, with confidence rather than uncertainty.

Explaining genetics and cancer risk in age-appropriate ways

The main message—that certain health conditions, like some cancers, can run in families—needs to be delivered according to children’s developmental stage.

• Preschool (Ages 3 to 7): Explain simply with analogies. There are tiny instructions known as genes that help our bodies grow. An instruction can have a small typo, which can be passed down from a parent, like hair color. Highlight that this typo does not mean they are sick now, but focus on general health and wellness.
• Middle school (ages 8 to 12): This age group can understand basic biology. You can use a car part analogy; almost all parts are proper, but one part (a gene) may need extra maintenance (screening). Emphasize their current health and introduce the term hereditary.
• Adolescents (Age 13+): Teens can be given more detailed information, such as gene names and risk percentages. Tell them about the future health implications. At this stage, the information can be highly personal and probably anxiety-causing.

Questions children ask and how to answer them

Children may ask if they will get cancer, and it’s important to respond with honesty and reassurance. Gently explain the difference between risk and certainty—for example, you might say, “This gene means we’ll need to keep an eye on your health as you grow, but it doesn’t mean you will get sick.” Reassure them that doctors, regular checkups, and screenings are there to help keep them healthy, and always acknowledge their fears so they feel heard, safe, and supported.

Ways of coping for children

Children can feel and express fear, guilt, or anxiety. It is important to validate such feelings. Communicate openly and set boundaries. Coping strategies can be physical activities, mindfulness, and connection with non-affected family members. Assure them that you love and support them regardless of the genes.

When to consult a genetic counselor?

A professional counselor is helpful to discuss complicated results like BRCA mutations. A pediatric genetic counselor is trained to explain difficult genetic concepts in a neutral and age-appropriate way. This makes the job less stressful for parents. Consult a counselor if the child is very anxious, asks questions the parents can’t answer, or is close to screening/testing age decisions.

Talking to children about genetic risk is an ongoing conversation, not a one-time discussion. As they grow and understand more, it’s important to revisit the topic and share new information as it becomes available. Support children by creating a safe space for questions. Ensure they know that this knowledge is intended to protect their health throughout life and not frighten them.