The closer the scan gets, the harder it can be to focus on anything else. You don't think about it. You don't think about it. Then you think of it again when you're washing dishes, or stuck in traffic, watching TV, or trying to sleep. So far, nothing has occurred.
What if the treatment doesn't work anymore? Or what about if something new arises? What if the doctor sees something I wasn't expecting? Many people who have cancer wait a lot longer than the scan itself.
A scan is not an ordinary appointment
A scan can evoke a cancer survivor's memories that may not be completely forgotten. The day that one is diagnosed. The pivotal discussion. The treatments. The hospital visits. Although life may have returned to some normalcy, a scan can bring those memories back up again. You can always find a problem whenever you start thinking about finding one. If you think you will find a problem, you will find a problem. Others are very conscious of all the physical sensations that occur in the body before the scan.
Every symptom starts feeling important
An overlooked headache appears to be critical. A sore shoulder is something to think about. A day of low energy brings up questions. The mind begins to make connections, even when there are no connections at all.
The waiting after the scan
Lots of people claim that the scan itself is manageable. It's the wait after that that is a challenge. The scan is done. No preparations are left to be made. No more to manage. Just reports are left to be announced. This can be a difficult seat to sit in.
Getting through the days
Unfortunately, there is no perfect way to cope with scanxiety. Some people share it with others openly, and some have work to do. Some need distraction. Others need quiet. Most people, eventually, do what they feel will get them through the next several days. Every once in a while, that's all that's necessary. There is no such thing as being too anxious to get a scan if you're feeling more nervous than you normally would.
You are waiting for something very important to come through. You wait to find out answers that may impact critical aspects of your life. The wait for that sort is hard to do. Anyone who has survived cancer will know what it feels like to feel more than they would like.